Finally!!!!!!!!
Tdy is the end of November, another month jus past this way...
And his shadow in my mind is fading... This shows a good sign to me...

REcently i down with flu... feel so terrible nowadays... how wish someone is here to take care of me.. but no one will do since the person left me...
I wan to learn how to lead the life of my own.. no longer depend on guys to take care of... jus do everything by urself.. and i know that i can do it...

knowing more fren can ease alot of my pain and loneliness... hahaha...

today is 28 november 2008..
is the birthday of someone that i love the most..
i was still in malaysia with him for celebration during last year at this time..
but now everything is different...
i don even stand a place in his mind anymore...
but i wish i stil stand abit.. i miss him..
i feel hurt, i feel like a fool..



how i wish i am still with him..

haha... now my new module started... is my favourites Accounting.... It has been ages that i last touch my POA since i graduate from Secondary School.... haha..
Even though the lecturer is so bored.. but i still enjoy the lesson as i wan to learn accounts again... i simply love it...
i realise tat i have been reading my course notes recently.. Lovely...
hope i can get a good result for this module, as i get quite a good result in my secondary school days...

now i trying to mug for my Principle of Management exam on this Sat... HEADACHE!!!
OMG!! who can help me??????

Hope all my days can be as happy go lucky....
>_<

Finally!!! i finish my econ exam... omg... all thanks to Mr YJ and Mr Daddy Lai... All thanks to them, without them,i really cant do this exam paper at all... as i did not attend much of the lesson.. They are so sweet to give me all the guides and even drive me to and fro lor... And i finally understand the PPF..

Then, the next challenge will be the exam for POM... arh.... It is schedule on next SAT 7-10pm... Wan my life can!!!!

Who can help me this time????????

Anyway, i sure will look for someone to teach me and help me to pass this module as well.. Cos i don wan to waste anymore time or $$$$... hahahaa

Hi peeps, i gng for my revision le.. Having my exam tmr, so nervious abt it as i nv attend much of the lesson..
and i going to have another exam on next week saturday...
OMG!!! why i have to take so many exam thru one shot...
I lack of time to do all the revision..

Then i saw my long lost fren ytd nite.. we tok alot more than wat he gng to teach me in my studies, but we had alot of fun... haha... hope we meet up soon again...

Recently, i very guai orh.. haha.. just accompany my parents to market everyday..
cannot imagine a cripple keep walking here and there..
then i still very determine to sit for my economic exam no matter wat, even though i did not attend much of the lesson.. haha...

I had been watching alot of show recently... haha... damn lotsa them, got both hkg and twn... hehe, i was like so happening with shows...
i even start to watch twn variety show.. dirt funny, and i start to fall in love with xiao S (xu xi di).. she was such a ultimately pretty mama in the world.. i adore her man.... and she is a very xinfu xiao nuren..
How wish i has half of her life.. and she's humourous too... i really love her alot.... i wan to see her in person...

Im down with luck recently... i almost lost my wallet on my way to school, luckily the security found it and kept it for me..
Played MJ also suay, nv win any $$... sian...
then school more worse, all the exam qn sucks man....
how can i be more bright and clever..
how wish i can be a pretty and clever lady..

someone shadow is flashing on and off in my mind...
i wanna forget clean abt him, but i cant... i still have not let go of him...
Maybe is the long run relationship i had with him, all my memories with him is on the positive side.. where i cant find anything that i can hate him..
onli the day he spoke to my dad and i hate him to the core..
And i had to revise for my exam as well, i got so much to go through, i don wan to coop up myself until one day, foolish thing might happen...

Hihi everyone..
aft tonite, everything is fine...
My parents know what had happen to me, my image might be tarnish, but at least i can face the truth...
My father confronted him, and all the ugliest side of him showed.
I suddenly awake... and my heart completely gave up..
And i know that my family is all i need...

Already past three weeks, but my mind still have not settle down... I still think of him all days, no matter is listening to songs, watching TV, and evening when i wanna slp i will still cry till dream..
I knew that i'm weak in relationship, but i don care anymore.. i still love him but knowing that he will not come back to my side..
He knew that i care for him alot, but he don appreciate for what i had done.. I feel terribly sad.. i need someone to consol me, listen to me... but no one can...
I feel so lonely, i still wanna be with him, i rather be the weak one for him to ride on.. i don mean to a strong woman, i just wan to be with the person that i love..
Now my brain is so mixed up and i cant concentrate on my studies as well.. bcos of him, all my life turn upside down.. i feel like going back to my normal life.. the life that i lead before with him....
Can I???

Labels: dilemma

矛盾
I start to go back to school fo rmy normal module lesson as i dun like to mix with other classmates if i had to defer this module.
I kept thinking of him recently, dunno why.. i dun to have him in my brain but he keeps on occupying there.. i wish i can forget this guy easily but my brain prove me cant.. what can i do? i dun wan to shed anymore tears for a guy that dun worth my tears at all.. Do i really need him by my side? Does he really appreciate for all the things that i done for him?
I have alot of question flying here and there in my brain, my heart.. I dun wish to know the answer anymore. I wan to let go.. I wan to go back to those days that my heart is so hard and be my boyish character.. i don wanna get hurt anymore..
Back to the school days, i missed 2 topics lesson for my element of economic.. It is an interesting module where my lecturer is so funny that i cant stop laughing.. And this is the only time that i can stop thinking all my foolish stuff..
but i need to submit my assignment in hard copy by next wednesday.. where i dun even know how to do qn 1 & 2...(sian)

Labels: Love Not the right thing for me anymore

In October 2006, y0u f0und me in thE friendstEr.
In Novemer 2006, 0ur fiRst c0nverSati0n tHr0ugh Ph0ne.
In December 2006, 0ur First datiNg StaRt froM ChangI VillaGe & ChanGi BeaCh.
UntIl thE daYs we b0th GradUated fr0m ITE, 0ur l0ves w3re therE, s0 Sweet & l0vely.
thE m0ment wE b0th Step int0 the Adult liveS, aLL chaNged.
Y0u n33d y0ur timE, i Gave y0u.
y0u n3ed y0ur frEEd0m, i Gave you.
whaTever y0u reQuest, i fulfiL y0u.
iN N0vember 2007, y0ur biRthday, i celeBrate wIth y0u.
In December 2007 0ur firSt ye4r AnniversaRy, y0u hurT me, I forGave y0u.
In MAy 2008, my birthDay, y0u manaGe to catcH a suppeR witH me, I'm happY & SatiFiced.
In Oct0ber 2008, My daY in H0spitAl f0r my 0peratIon, y0u visIt mE afteR meEting y0ur FrieNds, i'm C0ntenT.

Why Am i Alway be thE 0nLy 0ne thAt suFFer fr0m this RelaTionsh1p?
I haVe d0ne so mUch t0 saVe This RelatIonshiP, buT y0u just pUsh everythINg to me anD leavE me aL0ne wiTh thE ExcuSes " I d0n LovE y0u AnyMore! "

Am I thE onE cAuse y0u t0 l0se y0ur l0ve iN mE, I likE t0 knOw wHat haVe i d0ne...

If you love some one , let them go . If they return to you , it was mean to be , if they don , their love was not yours to begin with .

A great love is when u shed tears and stil cares for him and stil longs for him . When he begin to love another and yet you still can smile and say to him "I am happy for you ".

The worst thing in the world is seeing the one you love with the one they love and you realised its not you .

You always leave the one who leaves you and leaves the one you love.

Loving is not how you forget but how you forgive , not how you listen but how you understand , not how you see but how you feel and not how you let go but how you hold on .

Labels: waiting for you